In recent history, death is becoming a more and more popular activity amongst the people of the world. That is to say, it is exactly as popular per capita as it has ever been, but it is increasing considerably in sheer number of participants. At any rate, with all the hype going on, one may wonder just what is so great about death that has made it such a time-honored tradition throughout the years.

To that end, your author has set out to discover firsthand the pros and cons of death. It was a highly difficult task, considering that it was necessary for your author to die and then write from the grave like Edgar Allan Poe, about whom your elementary school instructor is going to call on you and ask you something you don't know. Anyway, using a combination of caffeine and eldritch satanic rituals, I was able to continue writing after my painful self-inflicted death by bricks. Read this review with reverence, since it is the last thing I will ever write.

One of the many participants in the death fad

As I died, the first thing I noticed was the remarkable lack of having any physical sensation whatsoever. This, as some may know, occurs due to a lack of glands. I was dismayed by this aspect of death, and felt that the creators of death could have at least spent the time to implement some glands. With all these billions of years in development, one would expect a higher standard of quality. Nonetheless, I pressed on, since it was the only possible thing for me to do.

Sure enough, I found that the appeal began to pick up after a short while. I ascended into the cloudy region known as heaven and was greeted by a good man named St. Peter. He was pretty friendly, and we had some good conversation for a while there. It was a very nice place, and a lot of things surrounding me were made of gold, contributing to the general appeal. Death was beginning to look promising.

Unfortunately, I was not able to enjoy it for long before encountering a fatal flaw. You see how I said "fatal" there. This is a very funny pun, because of how "fatal" means "causing death," and death is the topic I have been discussing. Anyway, sorry to get side-tracked there, friends. After a while of conversing with St. Peter, he suddenly announced that I did not deserve to be in heaven, and threw me into hell.

Now, I really don't understand why this particular feature was put in. Not only was the falling time very long and boring, but when I arrived in hell, I was subjected to an eternity of the worst possible torture imaginable. It was so bad that I was completely unable to think about anything except for the unbearable pain and suffering I was experiencing. This really contributed to my dissatisfaction.

On the whole, I have to say that my experience with death was very unsatisfactory. While there are some small enjoyable aspects, it seems as if this activity is very overrated by the entire population and history of humanity. If you are considering jumping onto the death bandwagon, I strongly urge you to do yourself a favor and do some living instead. Oops, I must go burn up in searing flames for all eternity, goodbye.